How to stay positive.

We sometimes find ourselves going through one of the most challenging "seasons" of  life and honestly think that we are never going to come out of it. I, like you found myself in such a position and confided in someone way older and wise, who reminded me that life is not always smooth sailing and that it is very necessary for us to hit rough patches once in a while, to learn the lessons we need to learn and to grow from them. She said the following;

"Life is like a rollercoaster; it has its ups and downs."

So as we are currently in the down of life, having to adjust to the changes and uncertainty surrounding us, here are a few things that you can do to stay positive.

1. Exercise.

If this is not the first article that you have read regarding positivity then don't be surprised that this is the first recommendation. Exercise tends to get a lot of flack because it requires us to actually do something, to take control and that seems to require a lot of energy but the truth is it is one of the most effective ways to lift yourself up. Once you start working out, the endorphins begin to do their job. Exercising is enjoyable when you find the activity you like, whether it is running, climbing, stretching, yoga or workout challenges. Take the time to discover what you really like doing, it's important to note that just because everyone else is running it doesn't mean that you should take up running even if you hate it.

2. Create a space just for you.

The recent lockdown has made us homebound and whilst home can be a little slice of heaven on most days, it becomes kind of boring? stuffy? when you are stuck in it. Take the time to identify your favourite room/space within your house or in your yard and make it your little safe haven. Take the time to discover what you like in your space, what makes you calm and what inspires you, then add that into your space. On the other hand remove that which you don't like from your space be it a colour, a lamp, rug or even a person -dark but necessary.

Sidenote: I love my room and am lucky to live in a spacious house surrounded by nature however I noticed that my room was missing something. In the days leading up to lockdown I found myself visiting plant nurseries and buying a few plants to raise indoors. As I type this one of my plant babies had a little growth sprout and has birthed a new leaf!I now wake up to my plants and my mood lifts when I go check on them.

3. Practice Gratitude.

In the post  4 ways to change your life we spoke about practicing gratitude in order to change your life. Gratitude helps you gain much needed perspective in times when you feel down. It helps you realise that life is not so bad and that there are still some very good things happening for you. Most therapists recommend writing down a list of things you are grateful each day, you can do this in the morning or in the evening. The list doesn't have to be long it's ok to write even 3 simple things that you are grateful for.

If you don't know where to start, here are three things to start you off: "I am grateful for sunshine". "I am grateful for the meal I ate with my family" and "I am grateful for wifi!". You can be grateful for anything and everything and you are sure to feel a bit lighter, a bit happier once you have done this exercise.

4. Be selective of what you watch and listen to.

Read that heading again and again until it sticks. You may have found that whenever you turn on the TV and it's on news somehow the world is coming to an end, anxiety peaks and you may feel helpless. This also happens when you open social apps- Twitter, Facebook and Instagram where you are constantly reminded that people are dying and there is not much you can currently do apart from stay at home.

This is all so depressing, and you may need to decide when enough really is enough. You need to be in control of your focus, and to limit the amount of sad / negativity you are ingesting daily. Here are a few things you may consider doing to take back control:

• Schedule 1-2 hours on news channels per day. The news is filled with horror stories and a live death count that we can all agree is not positive. Instead use that 1-2 hour of news time to take note of the key information, listen to government and health advise i.e. social distancing and take note of positive developments.
• Spend maximum 30 minutes scrolling on your Facebook feed and if you can download the messenger app and keep in touch with friends/family to avoid the feed. Block out keywords on Twitter and filter your content, block, mute and unfollow anyone who constantly posts/spreads upsetting, scary and unwanted information. Instagram has a mute button, use it. There is also an unfollow button and hopefully they add a keyword mute button soon. 
• Listen to you favourite Spotify playlist or choose one of their happy mood selects. 
• We recently got Disney+ and I am watching my favourite childhood favourites, you should too. Netflix has a great range of content too and YouTube vlogs are equally enjoyable.
• Speaking of YouTube, take the time to learn a thing or two on any topic. The varied nature of topics covered on Youtube will allow you to watch tutorials on how to garden - essential for new plant parents- and even how to code a new app. YouTube has every bit of information you need to get better at something.

5. Practice self care.

Last but not least, take some time to look after yourself. The best thing to come out of this experience is the opportunity to slow down and catch your breath. The first few months of the year tend to be a sprint and we can begin to loose sight of our needs, because we are chasing moving goal posts. Take time to cook for yourself, to do your chores properly, to spend time with your family doing meaningful things together and also just relaxing. You now have time to sleep in during what was supposed to be that 1 hour commute, you also have time to read a few pages a day and time to do homework with the kids.

Self care involves nurturing your relationships as well as looking after your environment. It's not just bubble baths and fresh bedding - though it is equally important- it's about finding that much needed balance and tranquility.

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I hope you gained a few insights on how to stay positive during this time. Please share what you are doing to stay positive below and please stay safe.